Walk The Thought

Being Assertive Against a Person Who is Getting Overbearing

1. Don’t get tense when the person starts talking something negative. Your body language gives you away. Maintain a relaxed posture and make eye contact without any hesitation.
2. Resist the temptation to interrupt or correct the person. Keep listening quietly, making mental notes on what is to be replied.
3. When the person stops talking, ask for more details or clarification about what he told you.
4. Without admitting whether you were right or wrong, ask the person what HIS suggestion is as to how you should behave or respond.
5. If the person is getting very angry or overbearing, give a simple excuse like “I need to get some water to drink”, go away from the room, calm down, and then return.
6. If he is asking you to respond to a particular issue and being unreasonable, look at him firmly but politely, and in a soft tone say, “This is important, I need to think over it. I will decide and reply to you.”

Image Credit: Daniela Vladimirova , cc-by-2, flickr.com

7. In the worst circumstance if you feel the situation is really getting out of hand, just say that you have some urgent work (don’t tell what it is) and leave the place for a long time.
8. If possible, when the person has cooled down and is in a good mood, talk to him about how you FELT when he was talking to you, and what you would like from him next time when he has an issue. If he is likely to get angry again, then leave it.
9. Practicing general meditation or deep breathing exercises helps you to strengthen yourself to face such situations. Keep a short prayer handy in your mind, and softly repeat that prayer to yourself as the discussion is going on. If the other person is receptive, discuss that prayer with you and ask for opinion. E.g. “Jesus said, the meek shall inherit the earth.”